It's late, has been a quiet day. Only a wall clock ticking sound and the occasional sound of the roar of passing vehicles. I was dazed in the corner of my bed. Then I got to sit in the dark.
I sighed deeply. There is a feeling of sadness. Feelings as a loser. It feels really bad to be a loser. Really I have gone from you? I realized my stupidity. Where can I leave you with a long series of questions. And let the wound, drowning in expectations. Or vice versa?
But now, you haunt me. I often feel missed. How I'm fine, I feel there is a vacant since then. I'm very strong first. Abide in my loneliness and share with others without having to burden him with some promise. But not anymore after I found you, and then promised ourselves to each other. However, I also deny that a number of promises, hurt you, hurt you. In this negligence so, would you open the back door way back into your heart?
I lasted from seconds to seconds, I touched my veins for decades minute, wondering why he could survive the beating to the beat? I swear, I'll find a way and no one else can stop my love for you.
I'm tired of talking myself, I want you, I'm dying endless. I opened the way home to you to share again and make me a woman who is not talking to himself.
Anxiety is rising again, my bubbling meeting space, full, solid, and ready to explode. I feel at this point that we finish the story that floats. Your presence in my mind make room in my heart to feel the pain and longing all at once. While my body could only contemplate the silent days of my life yesterday.
I so remember, when you will deliver the sweetest surprise. Still I felt my mood at the time, happy or real worries that should exist? The two things that haunt alternated constantly lately.
At that time you will spread a beautiful tapestry and then asked me to step on it together, toward the palace. Please do not ask me to myself for the time, because I'm still a coward. Claiming to be a woman in need of a partner, while hiding when fingers come intercepted.
I was hit by a thunder-bang it. I now know what to fight with. Another tension started to spread slowly throughout my body cells. I like a lifeless statue. When I was just stunned. I'm afraid of losing you. I realized really need it when you're away from me.
You looked at me intently, as though you know I doubt anything. But still, I slipped into the pupils of your eyes, hoping to find a real lack there. Because I'm sure of sincerity itself, that you were not fresh joked in the afternoon. Seeing trembling eyes, you convey the message to make me brave talk. To dare to lose you too?
I felt this arm dropped limp slowly. My fingers are still within grasp, but he collapsed there. As if no soul, no living cells and muscle in situ. He died before everything is answered, before it moved Peeler soul gripping heart that has become pieces in the palm of the hand. As expected, due to my stupidity, exactly the same as the existing scenario in my mind, leaders do not accept stupidity brother sister.
But not this seperih. I probably do not deserve you treat like a fragrant flower, then yelled at me. Why do not you ask me, how it happened, or whatever, anyway I opened the dressings, I showed a gaping hole.
I'm sure will not again I hear your voice, which always wetting my heart dry. As much as my belief that you too will go away, disappear as if you had a place far beneath the earth, out of reach.
I hope you're not really gone. Want you to show me that you hurt your wound more deeply than I? So I'll let you get hurt too, no one should I bandage. Or have a run chase you and beg you to stay at my side, your love begging, begging a thousand and one my best as a woman, my strengths as a wife one day, more than ignorance-ignorance.
I will follow the way you treat the wound. Sometimes anger makes a person become strong. I've never felt this strong before. Loss after loss is a long line that wrapped around my life and I do not want to add length to this list again if you went out like them.
Any sharp wound given to my past, I tried hard to dress my heart. So that later there is something better I can offer myself. I see very long stretches of time in front of me. Is sincerity will win or hatred, I just wanted one of two possibilities only. But I do not want to forget, all of which we have traveled together, sick and happy. I also want full and round, I do not want to die without meaning, yet it was too late to recede.
I treat my wounds with many trying to leave no grudges, but received with great kindness of other injuries. I do not bind tightly wound, gave her drugs that cause sore, which then dries. But let me rub with great tenderness and affection, as if I keep the wound with a very good to continue to live and grow with me.
Surely you do many things in your silence. You slap my face to wake me from this grip. You have made me feel angry and do not receive over insults from anywhere. You know how it feels to be meaningful. I have no more fear, no longer feel torn, I feel my wholeness and happiness around you.
Far above the achievement of happiness is the consciousness that you are to find me. So I want to thank you for doing this to me.
You can imagine what would happen if you do not make me angry at the time. So I will be the most miserable woman, spent my time in tears as long as possible, maybe even cut my pulse and turned into a ghost or maybe I enjoyed it all my non utuhan. But somehow I also want to be good, though I have reason to be otherwise.
You did the right thing, leaving me alone all than to comfort me with sweet words are actually for yourself. At least, until now we had done good to our lives later, that we never lied at all that there is in our hearts. This is the meaning of what I found from an honesty that most real, honest to yourself.
The alarm is loud enough to realize my thoughts. Helpless I rose from my seat. After this I know what I should do.
I sighed with relief. I'm sure that I'm not alone. I wash most of my body, then complained to the substance of the omniscient. True feelings or just He who knows?
I'm safe with you ....
